The Tales of an Infinite Regressor

1

Despite calling me an old geezer who’s lived for a thousand years, the evaluation of that old coot was not just wrong but way off the mark.

Noh Doha is the type who, upon seeing raindrops falling beautifully from the autumn sky, would remark, “Hmm, so H₂O molecules are committing group suicide (actually said it).” A critic whose tongue is twisted, not to mention his spine.

Why bother paying attention to such human speech and opinions?

Terms like old man or geezer, which denote age discrimination like Nokkine or Nokkwae, are definitely not suitable when describing me, a doctor. Curses filled with hatred and contempt for humanity like loser or fossil are not even worth mentioning.

Instead, neutral titles like senior or teacher are much more appropriate.

A senior generally refers to someone who walks ahead. As a regressor, I always walk one step ahead of others, so I am literally the senior of all humans. Why? Am I wrong?

The same goes for teacher. Sure, there are plenty of people older than me biologically. But mentally, is there anyone older than me? I’ve lived well over a thousand years, even more than Noh Doha. So, I am the teacher of all humans. How about that? Am I wrong?

“What are you saying, you old fogey…?”

“….”

But strangely, very few people address me with titles like senior or teacher.

No, rare is fine, but… There were even more old folks who insisted on calling him “Teacher Noh Doha”!

Oh, the irony.

How can one not sigh? To think that human trash would call me teacher. It’s like the Three Kingdoms tearing apart and the Five Elements collapsing in this land once called the Eastern Etiquette Kingdom.

But as heroes emerge in troubled times, so do wise men in chaotic times.

“Ah, Senior Doctor!”

A necromancer of the Korean Peninsula, yet always clad not in black robes but in the pure white sailor uniform, patriotic to the core.

One of the few who addresses me as senior, also the 113th Student Council President of Baekhwa Girls’ High School and the Guild Master of the Baekhwa Guild.

“Senior!”

Occasionally, while walking through the corridors of the National Highway Administration Headquarters, if I hear someone calling out to me, I can’t help but turn around, and every time, the owner of the voice comes running energetically, laughing with boundless vitality.

Truly a sight to behold.

Even in the turn when zombies were rampant on the Korean Peninsula, in the turn when the “Academy City” was created, and finally in the turn that led to the end of the world, if I didn’t know that, then it would be a different story.

A smile fixed somewhere. A preserved expression.

“Senior Doctor, where are you going?”

“….”

This is an episode about names. It’s a story about the time it took for the title of senior to change to teacher.

The unsung apostle of the Outsider’s Reincarnation.

Let’s talk about Dicentra Spectabilis.

2

If I were to list the top two people I least want to get involved with in the Korean Peninsula, the first place would undoubtedly go to the old geezer, the head of the Mount Hua Faction, and the second place would be none other than Cheon Yohwa.

Koyori? First of all, we need to determine if she is indeed a “person,” so let’s leave that aside for now.

If it weren’t for the information I obtained from the Fairy Lord during the 89th turn, I wouldn’t have had any reason to approach Cheon Yohwa.

– Tutorial Dungeon: Baekhwa Girls’ High School.

– The survivor there, Cheon Yohwa, is the chosen apostle of the entity known as the Fairy Lord.

I felt like Sherlock Holmes upon hearing the name James Moriarty for the first time.

Title: “Or, Witnessing the Tastes of a Married Woman Unexpectedly – A Commander’s Perspective”

Perhaps it could be likened to the sentiment of a general who unexpectedly witnesses the preferences of a seductive womanizer like Cao Cao. It was as if suddenly, I woke up to the realization, “Ah, I’ve been living my life all this time just to catch that guy.”

Moreover, if we were to judge solely based on the dignity of villains, Endless was one or two steps above Moriarty, or even more.

Unlike the inspiration tank, who was immediately exposed as a muse due to Sherlock Holmes’ awakening skill, Endless never revealed himself until the 89th turn. He didn’t even have a given name; I had to come up with the title “Endless” myself.

Cheon Yohwa was the prime suspect among such dark figures, the ultimate villain among villains.

My inner little detective couldn’t help but be intrigued.

And naturally, my detective skills were superior to any British opium-addicted hedonist. Time can’t be turned back, you know.

“Judging by your hair color, you must be Cheon Yohwa, right? Heard a lot about you from the kids.”

“Uh…”

Turn 109. As mentioned earlier, I encountered Cheon Yohwa immediately after unlocking the “Baekhwa Girls’ High School Tutorial Dungeon” and six months had passed.

“Word went around in our alumni network about a super smart and quick-witted junior becoming the student council president. By the way, I used to work in the student council, and now I’m the alumni association president.”

“….”

Yohwa, captured!

Thanks to this necromancer, an “AI Judge” was developed and distributed throughout the Korean Peninsula, bringing about various positive effects. But… there was one small problem.

No, it wasn’t exactly small. It was quite serious.

“Yohwa.”

“Yes, Senior Doctor!”

“Are you perhaps close with the fairies?”

“Huh?”

“Why? Because there are fairies in the tutorial. Or maybe you’ve had experiences connecting with some greater beings through those fairies. If so, let me know.”

“….”

Blink. Cheon Yohwa blinked rapidly.

“Fairies, Senior?”

“Huh?”

“Is this some kind of code? Or… a novel? Oh, Senior, come on. There’s no way fairies exist. You’re kidding too much.”

“…No, what are you talking about? There was a tutorial dungeon at Baekhwa Girls’ High School. So naturally, there were fairies in the tutorial. You guys barely managed to clear the tutorial without any contact with the outside world for almost 11 months…”

“11 months? Um… Ahaha. Sorry, Senior. I have no idea what you’re talking about. Oops. Senior, are you… involved with a cult or something?”

“….”

“Oh no! You shouldn’t! I know a lot about our family getting involved with cults, and no matter what happens, you shouldn’t get involved with them!”

Even advanced physiognomy couldn’t be distinguished from interest.

In my eyes, which had studied physiognomy for over a thousand years, Cheon Yohwa didn’t seem to be lying.

My academic achievements were on point.

“Squeak! A goblin appeared!”

“….? Senior, why do people call wolves goblins?”

“Enemies are attacking! Let’s fight!”

“Aaaah! E-earthquake! Senior, it’s an earthquake! Quickly, get down–!”

“….”

Cheon Yohwa couldn’t recognize goblins as goblins.

Goblins appeared as “wolves” to her, and the scene of enemies rampaging was understood as a “major earthquake.”

Other anomalies were the same. Once, I even brought a captured fairy and shoved it in front of her.

“Wow! A cat! So cute!”

She hugged the fairy and patted its cheek. Even when the fairy said, “Let me go!” in its language, it sounded like a cat’s purring in Cheon Yohwa’s ears.

It was broken.

The brain. The perception system.

As if only the part of the brain that recognized anomalies had been surgically removed from the head.

“…Indeed. No wonder asking Yohwa or Endless for information didn’t yield meaningful results.”

“….? What did you just say, Senior?”

“Nothing.”

Looking at Cheon Yohwa, who suffered from selective auditory impairment like a seasoned light novel protagonist, I furrowed my eyebrows.

Perhaps even this “perceptual contamination” was just Endless’s deception.

Should I be amazed that she was different from those interest-seekers commonly portrayed as villains in works of fiction, who actually cry out, “Recognize me!” to everyone?

I investigated Cheon Yohwa as much as I could.

Her family’s hometown was in Sejong City, and nearby, there was the well-known Toho household, and their mansion was enormous.

Traditional tiled-roof houses were built meticulously.

The land area was 14,990 square meters. It was a grand mansion nestled on the slopes of Mount Wonsu, overlooking the government buildings of the Republic of Korea.

While the aboveground retained the hanok architecture passed down from the Joseon Dynasty, the underground, not accessible to the public, concealed modern buildings.

However, there was no significant finding. Although some documents were left in the mansion, there were no survivors or witnesses.

The most I could find was that Cheon Yohwa’s father served as the director of Baekhwa Girls’ High School.

I inferred that perhaps Baekhwa Girls’ High School itself was built with funds from this family.

Then, Cheon Yohwa wasn’t just a simple student or a simple student council president but rather held a position equivalent to a “lady” in a private school foundation.

Other than that, there was a peculiar note that a pile of Confucian texts, including the Book of Changes, and other Taoist-related books were found in the underground facilities.

Still, with only such information and circumstances, I couldn’t break out of the duckweed.

“Lastly, I have one more question. Yohwa, I briefly investigated your family. Your father’s last name is Ilcheon Cheon, right? But you use ‘Cheon’ from Heaven as your last name. Do you happen to know how your family name changed?”

“Uh… No? I’ve never heard of that before… I don’t have any memories of my family at all. Besides, investigating my family feels a bit creepy, Senior…”

…A strategy adjustment was inevitable.

Contacting Cheon Yohwa, who emerged “after” breaking the tutorial dungeon on her own, proved to be futile. Too much information was lost.

To meet Cheon Yohwa from the previous period, who was still wandering in a dungeon named Baekhwa Girls’ High School, I had to go back to a point in time that couldn’t be reached without time travel.

“Got it. Yohwa, see you next time.”

“Huh? Yes, Senior! See you next time!”

And fortunately, I had that capability.

As I first revealed, the “tutorial dungeon” was nothing but a void artificially created by Endless, essentially a human laboratory.

Like other laboratories, access to the tutorial dungeon was tightly controlled. Just the mention of events like virus outbreaks, computer thefts, or data loss could skyrocket a graduate student’s blood pressure.

Therefore, the tutorial dungeon remained closed until it was cleared.

Even the “Clairvoyance” of the saintess couldn’t inspect this closed space. It was impossible for outsiders to forcibly open the lab door.

3

Indeed. “Human beings.”

“Let’s go, No. 264 fairy.”

“Hoee! Loyalty! Following the leader’s command–!”

Even if it was a laboratory sincerely defending against physical viruses, the story changed when it came to mental viruses.

No. 264 fairy, infected with the strongest virus in human history, charged forward with vigor towards Baekhwa Girls’ High School.

Squeak!

Upon stepping into the school premises.

“Heeek?”

Blink!

As if sensing an intruder, a guard suddenly rushed out from inside.

Of course, the real guards were lying dead near the school gate, and the newly branded “Baekhwa Girls’ High School Tutorial Dungeon” fairy was simply confused.

The opposing fairy looked around in bewilderment, eyes widening.

“Fai, fairy? Human? Heek? Why humans?”

“Whoa! How dare you, as the fairy in charge of this tutorial, invade without prior notice! Declare your identity!”

“I am No. 264! Even my number is revolutionary due to the decree issued to me! Disgusting lackeys of the bourgeoisie, offer your heads to the guillotine!”

“Heeek! Rebellion! It’s a rebellion! Guards! Guards–!”

As soon as No. 16 fairy pulled out her wand to kill us, our No. 264 fairy also wielded it’s wand.

“Where are you–”

“Heek!”

Boom!

The fairies exploded simultaneously. There was no margin for error in the explosions.

There was a sad truth hidden here. Originally, all fairies were created with exactly the same combat power.

If a fairy decided to fight another fairy, the outcome was always destined to end in mutual destruction.

Although not in a modern fantasy, but in a martial arts novel, they could be considered talents worthy of being on the list of “Top 10 Coolest Supporting Characters” even if not the protagonist, or if they were reincarnated into the Three Kingdoms, they could be the brothers who kept the promise of the Peach Garden.

“Now. With this, Endless’s eyes monitoring Baekhwa Girls’ High School should temporarily disappear.”

Speed was now life.

First, I stripped the uniform off the guard’s body and stowed it away in a trunk. Then I entered the school building.

I had already familiarized myself with the building’s structure through previous turns, but the terrain was twisting and distorting in real-time, just like the void.

“Whoa…”

“Hee, hee, hee, hee.”

Look at that. Just stepping into the entrance and all sorts of strange sounds warmly welcome the visitor.

This was no longer Baekhwa Girls’ High School.

“School Ghost Stories.”

Whether it’s bathroom ghosts or the Seven Mysteries, anyway, all the anomalies associated with the place called ‘school’ have been fully realized in this surreal setting.

The number of people trapped in the void of “School Ghost Stories” amounts to nearly 750. They are all Baekhwa Girls’ High School students.

And after 11 months of struggle, only… a mere 19 will survive until the end.

Moreover, two of them will jump off the rooftop to their deaths not long after. Considering that suicide in “School Ghost Stories” is practically murder by ghosts, those two should also be counted as victims.

Survival rate: 2.26%.

The worst tutorial dungeon in the Korean Peninsula.

However… no matter how powerful the anomalies and void are, or rather, the more powerful they are, the more vulnerable spots they have.

I call this the common denominator of anomalies and void. It’s called a ‘weak point’.

Depending on whether you know this weak point or not, the difficulty of the void varies greatly.

The old saying “Knowledge is Power” by Bacon has become even more true as we approach the end of the century.

So, here’s the question.

What is the most suitable weak point of “School Ghost Stories” that an outsider, especially an older man compared to the students of Baekhwa Girls’ High School, can exploit?

Can he adopt any disguise to contend with the “ghosts” that roam around here to the point of decay, and even force the perception that wandering around incessantly is “normal” in this void?

“…Alright. Found it.”

The answer was written on the document I held in my hand.

[List of Baekhwa Girls’ High School Security Guards]

With a swift motion, I wrote my name in the last column with the pen I brought from outside.

Then I quickly changed into the security guard uniform I brought from the school gate. A cap on my head. And even attached a badge engraved with ‘Security Guard Sergeant’ to my chest.

Disguise complete.

“Ah, this chilly yet solid sensation. It’s been a while.”

Finally, I held the must-have item of a security guard, a flashlight, in my left hand. The reflection in the duty room mirror was absolutely perfect.

Ah, this sergeant is getting a job as a school security guard this turn.

Now was the moment when the most powerful profession group descended upon “School Ghost Stories.”