The Tales of an Infinite Regressor

6

Fifteen years had passed since the beginning of the 173rd turn.

“Guild Leadeeeer…”

Even after over a decade, Sim Aryeon, our guild member and notorious KoreanVillage villain, still showed no signs of personal growth.

“Why the long face this time?”

“Please, don’t shut it down…”

“…? Shut what down? Are you smoking?”

“…Ugh, this is why normies… Anyway, SG-Net is dead…”

Aryeon sniffled.

SG-Net was a website built with cutting-edge technology, with its servers located within Seo Gyu’s brain and heart.

Unless our macho guy, Mr. Bullshit McBullshitface, got into a fatal fight, SG-Net going offline was unlikely. While the odds were high, it hadn’t happened yet, so Aryeon’s “dead” remark was merely figurative.

“Look at this…”

Aryeon showed me SG-Net on her smartphone.

– KoreanVillage: Today’s Café Mocha.jpeg

– Anonymous: Wrote a story, any feedback?

– KoreanVillage: Today’s Café Mocha.png

– Anonymous: Do you believe in God?

– Anonymous: Anyone up for an onsen trip?

– Anonymous: Why is this place full of idiots? lol

– KoreanVillage: Today’s Café Mocha.jpg

I tilted my head. There was only one odd thing after looking it over a few times.

“Aryeon, why do you drink so much coffee?”

“Aaagh! There are… only two posts on SG-Net today! Just two! The posts about coffee are today’s, yesterday’s, and the day before’s!”

“Ah…”

“Do you know how many posts SG-Net gets on average per day now? Four! Four posts! Unbelievable! Guild Leader, I can’t live like this! I can’t even troll anyone. Out of the four posts, one is mine, and the other is one I posted anonymously!”

“Hmm.”

Indeed, SG-Net was dead. The only active section was the [Library Society Weirdness Encyclopedia] run by Aryeon and me. The restless spirits that haunted the community had been exorcised.

Every result has a cause. The demise of SG-Net had a very clear reason.

“Well, when everyone was scattered across the country, it was different. But now, everyone lives here. This city has plenty of squares and rest areas. There’s no need for an online community like before.”

“Still, this is too weird… I bet even ancient Vatican had online communities. It makes no sense that just because we all moved to Busan, the online community died. Guild Leader! This might be an occult phenomenon! It’s weird! Wow! You love weird stuff! Please, exorcise it!”

This kid… She’s sharp.

“Aryeon, do you really want me to explain the rest?”

“Huh? What do you mean…?”

“Look. There are no unemployed or homeless people here. Everyone has a job and leads a healthy life. After work, people throw small parties or join clubs and enjoy real-life community activities. They de-stress there, so there’s no need to go online. Seo Gyu went to a TRPG meeting tonight, didn’t he? But you, Aryeon, are always cooped up in the guild building…”

“Aaah! I don’t want to hear it! I don’t want to hear it!”

Aryeon covered her ears and squirmed. Or rather, she was rubbing her back against the floor, flailing around as if swimming on her back.

If Gregor Samsa saw this, he’d probably be disgusted, thinking it degraded the dignity of insects.

“Re-real life? Enjoying it? People are happy now and don’t need the internet? Are you stupid, Guild Leader? Are you really stupid? The reality, the truth, is inside this smartphone screen! Humans giving up the internet? That’s inhuman! In this world, on this earth, in this universe! How could that actually happen?”

“But it did.”

“Eeeek…!”

The KoreanVillage villain sank.

Even if the world ended tomorrow, Aryeon would be the kind to post nonsense on the internet today. Regardless of her character, her ability, [Spirit Bomb], had to decline.

It was harder to get attention from people now.

Modern Busan was becoming more and more of an ideal city.

Everyone wanted to become a better version of themselves. And in Busan, there were ways to make people’s wishes come true.

– I’m tired after work but have a habit of staying up late doing other things. It ruins my daily life. Great Witch, can you remove this habit?

– Of course. As long as you provide one month’s salary.

It wasn’t a deal with the devil, but it was a deal with a witch.

Tang Seorin’s law of equivalent exchange. Cheon Yohwa’s mind control magic. With these two powers combined, people could conveniently excise unwanted parts of their personality.

It wasn’t just personality.

– I was abused by my family as a child. The trauma surfaces now and then, making me miserable. This personality trait bothers those around me. Great Witch, can you erase my childhood memories of abuse?

– Certainly. In exchange, you must also give up your negative feelings towards your family.

Memories. Emotions. Personality.

The great witch acknowledged anything as a bargaining chip and accepted it all as payment.

Busan’s crime rate plummeted. With all the criminals’ personalities altered, it was inevitable.

Tang Seorin’s Witch Trials gradually became open to the general public. Once a week, a golden scale would rise in the grand plaza, and each time, dozens of people would transform into better versions of themselves.

Tolstoy once said that happy families are all alike, but every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.

While there are many paths back to misery, the road to happiness is always singular.

This city was no different.

As people began to eradicate their miseries one by one, interestingly, their auras became increasingly similar.

Healthy. Early to bed and early to rise. Regular exercise. Valuing the people around them. Polite. Kind. Honest with themselves. Avoiding harm both given and received.

Utopia.

“What should I do, Guild Leadeeer… Hnnngh, if your arm gets cut off or your legs get broken, I won’t be able to heal you… I’m so sorry. If another monster wave attacks, I won’t be able to heal you anymore…”

“Ah, don’t worry about that. You were going to be fired soon anyway.”

“…Huh?”

“The monster wave is about to end.”

7

The detailed explanation of the “Monster Wave” will be covered in another episode.

For now, it’s enough to imagine it as the name suggests.

A tsunami of anomalies. Endless waves of monsters surging from the horizon.

Monsters that would normally never coexist due to overlapping territories, banding together in one massive army.

Why this happens is unknown. But when it happens is clear.

When the void becomes too vast.

For instance, if the entire area of North Korea becomes engulfed by the void, a “Monster Wave” will inevitably appear.

The tsunami lasts about 20 hours.

Thousands, tens of thousands of anomalies form waves and surge towards the remaining human-inhabited land.

This phenomenon forced me to create the National Highway Defense Force.

We didn’t abandon various cities across the Korean Peninsula, maintaining highways to preserve our territories. Otherwise, we’d be swept away by an almost infinite tide of monsters.

Tang Seorin chose a path opposite to mine.

“Doctor Jang! Doctor Jang! Doctor Jang!”

“Woohooo!”

And today.

Since the concentration of resources and manpower in Busan, the monster wave threat that had always loomed over the city finally ended.

“Everyone! Please welcome with applause! Our hero! The protector of Busan, no, the Korean Peninsula, and even the world! The city’s guardian, Doctor Jang Ascendant!”

“Long live the Doctor Jang! Long live Busan!”

A parade was held in the city.

It was a kind of festival. Just as a victorious general in Rome would pass through the triumphal arch to show off their achievements, I too, marched slowly, escorted by awakened ones.

I rode in an open car, while high above, members of the Three Thousand Worlds Guild (now part of the National Highway Defense Force) formed a neat formation on their brooms.

Speakers installed throughout the city played victory songs non-stop, tunes that stirred and moved the listeners.

Luxuries like alcohol were distributed without limit for today. Five years’ worth of stock would be consumed in just one day.

“Our city has always been threatened by those detestable waves of anomalies! But thanks to the Doctor Jang Ascendant and the valiant warriors! The monster wave has finally been vanquished! Rejoice, citizens! Our city is free!”

“Wooooo!”

The climax of the festival was when the parade reached the National Highway Defense Force headquarters after crossing the city.

In the plaza where the weekly Witch Trials were held, the headquarters towered like the Tower of Babel.

At the grand staircase that one must climb to enter the headquarters, the ruler of the city, the master of the Korean Peninsula, Tang Seorin in her black pointed hat, was waiting.

“Welcome, Doctor Jang.”

Tang Seorin smiled. Her smile and voice were broadcasted throughout the city via magic designed specifically for this day.

“You finally did it.”

“…”

“You once warned me that countless anomalies would block our chosen path. But I said that with your power and my magic, we could overcome it.”

Tang Seorin playfully pouted.

“Can we now say that one of us was right?”

“You can have the credit for being right. I’ll take the blood and sweat I invested to make your words come true.”

“Show-off.”

Laughter rippled through the crowd surrounding the plaza.

Though their conversation and manner of speaking seemed too informal for the city’s ruler, it didn’t matter. In this city, maintaining power and authority no longer required grand political rhetoric or embellishment.

Every citizen was now complete.

“Anyway, a fitting reward should be given to the hero who defeated our greatest enemy. I swear on my golden scale that whatever you desire, I will grant it. So, our brave hero, tell me your wish.”

“Thanks. Then… I noticed that Yoo Jiwon is in charge of today’s event. Change that. Despite her changed personality, she still overacts. I was mortified getting here.”

-Doctor Jang Guardian?

The plaza erupted in laughter once more.

Tang Seorin also chuckled and took a step closer to me. Strangely, her footsteps weren’t broadcasted through the city speakers but reached only my ears.

I realized that Tang Seorin had momentarily cut off the broadcasting magic.

“Is that really enough? Are you sure? I was sincere about granting any wish.”

“My wish is to stay by your side until the end, and that wish is already being fulfilled.”

“…”

“So just fire Yoo Jiwon. Hurry up.”

Tang Seorin snickered.

“Really…”

What she said next, even I don’t know.

She extended her right hand, and according to her custom, I kissed her ring. Then, the city’s cheers drowned out all other sounds.

Night fell.

Fireworks exploded in the sky.

Various witches flew through the city’s night sky. The National Highway Defense Force members, who had been given a three-day leave starting today, soared on their brooms, casting fireworks spells at will.

Tang Seorin and I sat on the high terrace of the National Highway Defense Force headquarters, watching the night sky festival together.

On the table were a few pieces of bread from the famous Haeundae bakery and two empty wine bottles.

“So then.”

Tang Seorin’s long fingers glided over the rim of her wine glass.

“Are all the anomalies that threatened us gone?”

“Well. We can say the greatest threat is gone. There might still be some god-tier anomalies I haven’t identified, but at least the monster wave will never target this place again.”

“That’s good. We don’t have to see those dreadful waves of anomalies anymore. Really, that’s good.”

Another firework exploded.

The sound of the firework ascending, rendered magically, echoed pleasantly in the sky.

Red and yellow backlight illuminated Tang Seorin’s profile as she watched the night sky.

“Ah- I feel great. Hey, Doctor Jang, make me a cup of coffee. I feel like drinking one.”

“You won’t sleep if you drink caffeine at night.”

“What does it matter?”

Tang Seorin propped her chin with her left hand and grinned. Her right hand was petting Kkamangi, who was coiled on her lap.

“I’m not planning to sleep tonight anyway. I’m going to slack off work tomorrow. You’re going to have more free time starting today, right?”

“…True. One cup, then.”

The rooftop terrace, practically Tang Seorin’s private bar, was equipped with all the tools for a barista. The aroma of the beans indicated they were freshly ground today.

There was even ice cream in the icebox. I smirked and made an affogato, handing it to Tang Seorin.

“Here. Coffee to sober up.”

“Oh, thank you! Mm, this is the best. Coffee made by you always tastes the best.”

Fireworks exploded.

Meow—Kkamangi meowed from Tang Seorin’s lap.

“But… how did you subdue the monster wave? You said it yourself, it’s something that can’t be subdued, more a phenomenon than an anomaly.”

“I didn’t subdue it.”

“Huh?”

“I didn’t subdue it. Near Seoul, the monster wave still appears, thousands of anomalies forming waves, then disappearing after 20 hours, only to reappear endlessly.”

“…”

I had seen it with my own eyes.

Tang Seorin’s hand, which was enjoying the affogato, froze.

“…Wait. Seriously? No joke? Then that’s a big problem!”

“No, I’ve never lied to you, Tang Seorin. The monster wave will never, ever push down here again. Your city is safe.”

“Uh… Doctor Jang?”

Tang Seorin looked confused.

“Sorry. I can’t follow the conversation right now. Isn’t the monster wave a phenomenon that pushes from the void into human territories? You said that long ago.”

“That’s right.”

“And the monster wave is still appearing near Seoul?”

“Correct.”

“Then how can you be sure it won’t come to Busan again? What makes you so confident?”

“Because this place is the void now.”

Fireworks exploded.

“This place is no longer human territory but anomaly territory. Busan, or rather, Utopia. Literally a ‘nowhere place,’ a void.”

“…”

“So the monster wave has no reason to target this place. As long as you, the anomaly, dominate this area, Tang Seorin.”

Fireworks exploded.