The Tales of an Infinite Regressor

1

Let me start by telling you not to expect a clean ending in today’s story.

This time, it’s undoubtedly a bad ending.

Let’s talk about the crap game called reality.

2

Endless Hell.

Ever since we exterminated that god of isolation, many things in the world have changed.

I realized later that each of the isolated gods actually had a kind of domain.

You could call it a divine realm.

If the term “divine realm” feels unfamiliar, think of it as a temple. For Endless Hell, the ‘tutorial dungeon’ was the representative divine realm and temple. Baekhwa Girls’ High School was its headquarters.

Just as when the power of one religion wanes, other religions rush in to fill the void, the anomalies declared Earth their religious war Monopoly board to spread their doctrines according to their instincts.

In the midst of this holy crusade, whether humans died or not was of no concern to the anomalies. The tradition of not considering civilians if their faith was different had long been an earthly custom.

The crucial point is that the balance of power, which had been precariously maintained like a house of cards, collapsed the moment Endless Hell was defeated.

From the defeat of Endless Hell, the previously suppressed anomalies began to run amok.

“Where is this…?”

“I’m not Kim Joonyoung of Anyang! I’m Namgung Mooncheong, the first disciple of Namgung!”

“Please take me back to that world… Why are there tears in my eyes?”

A prime example was the ‘Hero Syndrome.’

As I mentioned before, the first time I witnessed Hero Syndrome was in the 118th turn. And Endless Hell was defeated in the 117th turn.

I’m not trying to test your memory. I can detail this only because of my [Complete Memory Ability].

What I want to point out is—doesn’t the timing seem rather coincidental?

Doesn’t it seem as if they were waiting for Endless Hell to be defeated?

Let me recap. In this period, the anomalies that started appearing in the Korean Peninsula with higher gacha pickup rates were not only the Hero Syndrome.

-Honk! Honk! Honk!

-Honk! Honk! Honk!

-Honk! Honk!

The primary enemy of all writers and readers, the ‘Reincarnation Truck,’ also made its debut in the 119th turn.

Looking further afield, there were plenty of other anomalies. The ‘Salvation Narrative Syndrome’ appeared in the 126th turn, and the fictional structure ‘Korea-Japan Undersea Tunnel’ appeared in the 141st turn.

Hero Syndrome, Reincarnation Truck, Salvation Narrative Syndrome, fictional buildings… Don’t you feel a certain commonality?

That’s right. All of these were hints and omens of some enormous trend.

Every oven dish needs preheating.

Before providing the answer to that question today, let me first talk about one of the most absurd and simultaneously the most impressive omens.

A virtual reality MMORPG.

So-called ‘online games’ will be the main character of this episode.

3

Sometimes, there’s a recurring post on SG Net, a periodic topic.

-Anonymous: Status window! Status window! Status window!

-Anonymous: I shouted ‘Status open’ as soon as I woke up today. Did it appear? (Day 31)

-Anonymous: Guys, am I the only one who sees the status window??

-Anonymous: I shouted ‘Status window,’ and it really appeared, seriously.

-LiteratureGirl: Honestly, if you’ve secretly shouted ‘Status window’ once seeing the world going to hell, like this post.

It’s the status window topic.

Of course, as a mature adult, I’ve never once mumbled ‘Status window’ to myself.

Did I shout it in the first or second turn? Anyway, my memory starts from the fifth turn, so anything before that is ancient history.

There’s no irrationality in holding modern states accountable for crimes committed in ancient times. Does Greece get treated as a war criminal by Turkey for the Trojan War?

In any case, this world didn’t have a status screen with kindly listed ‘ability stats’ and ‘skill descriptions.’

Awakeners had to go through countless trials and errors to find out the true nature of their abilities.

For instance, Sim Aryeon had no idea that her healing ability was [Spirit Bomb], meaning it gets stronger as she draws more aggro, before SG Net existed.

This is why in the early turns, Awakeners with ‘simple abilities’ had an advantage.

For example, an ability like Lee Baek’s [Lion’s Roar], which just made his voice louder, was easy to recognize due to its simplicity.

A world endlessly unfriendly to Awakeners.

And this unfriendliness was precisely why I, Doctor Jang, garnered overwhelming trust and reputation among Awakeners.

“Seo Gyu, your ability is [Ubiquitous]. You can create an internet community that can be accessed as long as there’s a smartphone. The more users join, the more your ability develops, and you can add various systems to the board.”

“Pardon?”

“Aryeon, your ability is [Spirit Bomb]. When Seo Gyu creates SG Net, you’ll be one of the original members and the most famous villain, drinking up all the human aggro and growing stronger.”

“Yes?”

Monopoly of information.

The true nature of abilities that even Awakeners themselves didn’t know, their strengths and weaknesses, and even ‘training methods’ on how to develop their abilities further.

I could release all this information to whoever I wanted, whenever I wanted, and in whatever amount I wanted.

Actually, there was no need for me to even step forward.

[‘Saintess of Salvation’ bestows you with a power.]

With just a bit of ‘distortion,’ I could make it seem as if these abilities were being awakened and developed by the constellations.

[‘Saintess of Salvation’ grants you the ability ‘Minor Healing.’]

[‘Conqueror of the Alps’ grants you the ability ‘Hammer Mastery.’]

[‘Chancellor in Red’ grants you the ability ‘Pain Control to the extent that you won’t feel pain if you stub your little toe.’]

The performance of the Constellation Talk was solid.

From the awakened ones’ perspective, abilities they weren’t even aware of seemed to be given to them as fortuitous gifts by the constellations.

[‘Chancellor in Red’ suggests that intentionally stubbing your toe against the edge of a desk or doorframe 999 times will enhance your ‘Pain Control’ ability.]

Sometimes directly by me. Sometimes by the Saintess masquerading as a constellation.

The regressor spun plots front and back.

Those who awakened (or learned) their abilities through me followed me as an individual, and those who did so through a constellation worshipped the constellations. Either way, they were in the palm of my hand.

By revealing information that could have been realized by the awakened ones themselves in 2 years, 6 years, or 10 years a bit earlier, we gained absolute support.

One reason the guilds in the Korean Peninsula remained quieter compared to other areas was this. The military and civil services were unified.

All those people were essentially my indebted disciples. Look at Tang Seorin—didn’t she quickly master the ‘Equivalent Exchange’ magic thanks to me?

Therefore…

-Anonymous: I shouted ‘Status open’ as soon as I woke up today. Did the status window appear? (Day 191)

-Anonymous: It appeared, that’s why I posted it, lol (Day 191)

A certain post that suddenly appeared in the 133rd turn not only threatened my position but also the security of the Korean Peninsula.

At first, I thought it was just a nonsense post and passed it by.

But about 30 minutes later, it became clear that my complacency was a mistake.

[Doctor Jang, there’s a big problem.]

“Yes? What’s the matter?”

[Status windows are appearing sequentially in front of the awakened ones in the Korean Peninsula.]

“What?”

I immediately logged into SG Net.

-Anonymous: What the heck? A status screen really appears like a hologram in front of my eyes?

-LiteratureGirl: Please evaluate your status window.

-Anonymous: Are these guys collectively trolling now? Did SG Net fall? Block this boring bait.

-Anonymous: Did you get an S-grade power stat?

-Anonymous: Guys, my status window says my charm stat is A-grade. Is that good?

The community was in chaos.

“What is this…?”

“Guild Masteeeeer!”

Bang!

Someone barged into my room.

The statement just made was noteworthy for two reasons.

First, the person had no concept of etiquette as they opened the door to my private room without any notice.

Second, the way they ‘rolled’ in rather than walked or ran suggested that the person might lack even the ability to walk on two legs.

A being unfit to be recognized as Homo sapiens both mentally and physically. This unidentified cryptid’s identification name was Sim Aryeon.

“Guild Masteeeer! It, it, it appeared! It appeared!”

“…”

“S, S, S-grade appeared…!”

From the dialogue, you can tell I didn’t specifically ask Aryeon ‘What appeared?’ or ‘What do you mean it appeared?’.

And I didn’t ask what on earth S-grade was either.

However, the cryptid couldn’t understand human conversational methods. The being before me opened a sketchbook and scribbled with a sign pen furiously.

“L, l, look at this!”

I didn’t want to see it.

But the refined senses of a regressor brought me countless advantages and one disadvantage.

That one disadvantage was that even with a quick glance at the sketchbook Sim Aryeon opened, I could grasp all the letters and content at once.

――――――――――

[Status]

Name: Sim Aryeon

Title: ‘Bird That Drinks Poison’

Occupation: Healer, Pharmacist, Painter, Saintess (Potential), Novelist (Potential)

Attributes:

– [Health: E]

– [Strength: E]

– [Intuition: S-]

– [Agility: E]

– [Intelligence: B]

– [Charm: F]

Personality Traits: [Single-minded] [Anthropophobia] [Carelessness] [Arrogance]

Unique Skill: [Bird That Drinks Poison (SSS)]

Bird That Drinks Poison (SSS): Ability to convert poison overflowing in this world into medicine. The more resentment and curses you receive from others, the stronger your healing abilities become. The more people’s resentment and deeper the curses, the stronger the healing.

Turning evil into good. Turning resentment into opportunity. You were born with the destiny to be the savior and Saintess of this land.

May luck be with you.

――――――――――

“Y-you saw it, right? You saw it, right? Guild Master… hehe. Hehe, I’m an SSS-grade ability user…!”

“……”

“A Poison Bird… hehe, a Poison Bird…! And a savior and Saintess…!”

It was then that I realized ‘SSS-grade’ was what she meant by ‘S-S-S-grade.’

I could only admit my ignorance about why Sim Aryeon pronounced ‘SSS-grade’ that way.

My ignorance didn’t end there.

I became interested in web novels and genre fiction from the 555th turn onwards. Therefore, I couldn’t get angry or condemn the sight of this cryptid creature calling itself a Poison Bird, an insult to this world, and a disgrace to the universe.

I simply stayed silent. As Wittgenstein said, we must remain silent about what we do not know.

“Guild Master, you should try shouting it too.”

“What?”

“Status. Shouting ‘Status Open,’ it appears… Even if you just think about it, it appears, but you must say it the first time. Oh! When you say it, you must press the desire to see your stats into the words…!”

Then what about those who are mute?

This status window or whatever it is—it must be the work of a cryptid since only a cryptid would do something like this—so is this creature discriminating against people with speech impairments? (Incidentally, pronounced quickly, cryptid becomes ‘crip-s**t’).

“Come on, Guild Master! Hurry!”

“…Aryeon, it’s never a good idea to hastily give in to a cryptid.”

“What?”

“You’ve learned a lot about cryptids since joining our guild. Just as it’s agreed not to cross the street when the light is red, saying your name to this status window cryptid is likely the ‘trigger condition.’ You can’t say it carelessly.”

“…Ah.”

Sim Aryeon showed an expression of realization.

“G-Guild Master… Are you reluctant to shout because you’re afraid your stats will be lower than mine…?”

“……”

“S-sorry. As you know, I’m often lacking in consideration… Hehe. I won’t brag about my stats in front of you anymore.”

Sim Aryeon left my room, saying she would go brag to Seo Gyu instead.

More precisely, she left the room and then peeked back in.

“Oh, um…! Even if you don’t have an S-S-S-grade ability or even just an S-grade or A-grade one, I won’t look down on you…!”

“……”

“It’s not right to look down on people because of abilities, right? Yes? Hehe. So… Guild Master! Fighting…!”

Bang.

The cryptid closed the door and left.

The room was silent.

“Saintess.”

[Yes.]

“Gather all the information on this cryptid as soon as possible.”

[Understood.]

I could sense reluctance in the Saintess’s tone, but I had no doubts. In fact, looking back from the perspective of future generations, this was a historical event tied to the reformation of genre novel conventions.

Thus, I declared war on the ‘status window.’