The Royal Contract

"You are so stupid." She said to herself as she locked herself in her room after sending a few kids to bed.

She wanted to be alone, hopefully, get some sleep early. So she could forget all about this unfortunate incident.

However, it had been almost an hour since she lay on her bed. Yet, her eyes were still wide awake. Her mind would not stop thinking about the man she had let get away and all the what-ifs.

"This is useless." She looked at the clock and knew she was not getting any sleep anytime soon.

She crawled out of bed and looked outside her window. It was already dark outside except for the few lamps. But she felt drawn to go out, thinking she needed fresh air.

But she believed that going in the garden would do her no good. It would not solve what was bothering her. But what could?

"I can\'t." She mumbled in the darkness of her room, pacing the floor until she felt frustrated and sat back down again on the edge of the bed.

She buried her face in the soft palm of her hands, thinking that she must be going insane for even considering what was nagging inside her head.

"But what if she lost him forever? Was she ready to accept that?" She thought she could.

When she left him, she believed that she could live without him. Or maybe something in the deep part of her brain hoped that he would wait for her.

However, seeing him again and spending time with him made her realize how much she wanted him in her life. But fear gripped her now at the thought that she had lost him for good.

"Just because I am a fool for being afraid." She reasoned to herself. But when would she be ready to face the world again? When she had lost everything dear to her. Her career, her friends, her family, and Adam.

Was she willing to risk everything she had worked hard to achieve to go down the drain because she was afraid to face her shadow?

"Are you ready to lose someone you have learned to love? The same man that loves you?" Her mind nagged at her, reminding her of what she took for granted.

"Damn!" She was not. "I could not lose him." She stopped at the small mirror in the wall of her room and stared into the dark silhouette of her face.

Even in the absence of light, she could see how miserable she was. She might have healed some of her wounds, but the big hole in her heart remained bleeding because she could not recognize the cure.

"Adam." She called his name. But he could not hear him in her room if he was hundred of miles away from her.

She could not stop him from leaving if she stayed sulking in the dark, hoping by some divine miracle he would come back. She believed that was not how God worked.

They said God helped those who helped themselves. So far, she believed she had not done anything to help her plight.

"Serena, is everything alright?" She heard someone knock on her door.

When she opened her room, she found Sister Nenita standing outside with a concerned look and a weak smile on her lips. She probably noticed the commotion she created in her room.

"Yeah, I am sorry if I made too much noise." She apologized, not liking that she disturbed her friend, who was probably busy praying.

"You don\'t look alright to me. Is there something bothering you?" Her friend asked as she continued to linger on her door.

"No, it is nothing." She did not want to make it a big deal. But her friend did not seem to believe her.

"Is this something to do with our visitor earlier?" Sister Nenita went straight to the point. She must have put all the pieces of her story together and gathered that she had run away from her past because of him.

"How did you know?" She guessed she was tired of denying it to her friend and herself. Besides, it must be all over her face by now.

"Because I know you, Serena." Her friend concernedly said as she took her hand and squeezed it firmly. "Now, tell me what the problem is. Maybe I can help."

She looked at her friend and gave her a friendly smile. She was glad that in all the places she could have gone to. Somehow, her feet dragged her here.

Abruptly, she wondered how Adam stumbled into this place. Was it a coincidence that they saw each other at the beach? Or was that fate telling her that she should reconsider her decision?

"I don\'t know what to do." She finally uttered in fear. "I don\'t want to lose him, but I am afraid I am about to ruin his life."

She believed she always managed to destroy her relationships. One way or another, it was her fault that she ended up in a toxic relationship.

She could not stop thinking she might ruin Adam if she pursued a romantic relationship with him. "I don\'t deserve a man like him."

"Why would you say that?" Sister Nenita forced her face to look at her. "You are a wonderful person. And besides, I don\'t think Adam is a young child who could not decide for himself."

"Fight for him if you don\'t want to lose him." Sister Nenita added. "Go to him and tell him how you feel."

She could only stare at her, processing the wisdom she imparted to her. Should she listen to her? Or should she lock her feelings for him deep inside her and throw away the key?

"But..." She was about to protest and tell her friend it was not that simple, but her friend would not let her.

"No more buts." Sister Nenita said. "When is his flight back home?" She asked her.

"I think tomorrow morning." She remembered he mentioned it earlier in one of their conversations.

"Then, you still have time." Her friend said. Before she could ask her what she meant, her friend turned away and walked in the other direction.

She watched her back as it disappeared somewhere, leaving her to wonder what was happening. Her friend did not say anything else before leaving her.

"Sister Nenita." She partially shouted as she called her attention, but she could not see her anymore.

After a few minutes, just when she was about to give up on her friend, she saw the Sister return and walk back to her room.

"Here." She said, dangling a key on her finger. "Don\'t wait for tomorrow. Go to him now. Tell him everything before it is too late."

She recognized the key. It was for the service vehicle that the nuns used to go to the market or do some errands.

It was a worn-down vehicle that had seen its better days. But somehow, it was still reliable, providing them with the services they required daily.

"Are you sure about this?" She reluctantly asked, taking the key and letting it settle on her palm.

She doubted it was the best plan, but could she concoct another one on short notice? Could she do it? Come up to him and tell him what she felt, just like that.

"I always believe that everybody deserves a chance for happiness. And when you see one, you have to grab it before it slips your finger and disappears forever." Sister Nenita insisted, closing her palm on the key in her hand.

"Now, I want you to change into something decent and knock on his door." Sister Nenita pushed her back into her room, reminding her she was still in her sleeping gown.

Quickly, she moved to the cabinet and grabbed an ensemble from the few clothes she had brought on this trip. Of course, she could not forget her disguise, not wanting other people to recognize her.

Then, Sister Nenita saw her off in their old Volkswagon, waving and wishing her good luck. Was that all she needed in this task of her? Or would she need more?

But she concentrated on the almost empty road since it was already late. Unlike the city, this place did sleep at night.

"Come on, Serena. You can do this." She repeated to herself as she drove nearer to her destination.

But there was another problem that she had not foreseen as she parked the car outside the hotel where he stayed. She did not know which room he was staying in.

She could ask the receptionist, but that might blow her cover as she identified herself at the front desk or if the other woman suddenly recognized her from her disguise.

Now, what would she do? Should she risk being discovered to see him? Or should she turn around and drive back home?

"No." She turned the engine off. "I am not leaving without telling him." She muttered with determination.

She had enough running. It was time she faced the world again. And that included getting the man she deserved. And she was not saying no for an answer.