The Crazy Mage Reincarnated into a Fallen Family

Drip— drip drip—

I looked over and saw a drunkard staggering around, marking his territory. I glanced down for a moment and clicked my tongue involuntarily.

“Tsk, good luck with that.”

“What?”

I turned my head abruptly and made eye contact with the drunkard, who surprisingly turned out to be someone I knew.

“Damn it… What are you looking at, punk? You wanna die?”

I stared at the dirty drunkard approaching me while marking his territory, unsure of what to do for a moment. Then, I noticed the rock I was holding in my hand.

Smack—

“This punk… Ugh!”

I hit the drunkard on the temple with the rock, and he collapsed onto the ground where he had been marking his territory. I’ve lost count of how many times this rock has helped me.

‘This is a useful rock.’

I put the valuable rock in my pocket and looked down at the unconscious man.

I think his name was Garlic or Greed, but I can’t remember which one. Anyway, he’s one of the guys who got beaten up by me along with the old soldier from Dark Soul.

I examined the drunkard’s face and muttered while touching the 『Magnus’ Illusion』.

“I have become the drunkard’s twin brother.”

Instantly reborn as the drunkard’s hidden-strength twin brother, I headed straight for the main street and entered the [Red Sunset Tavern].

Creak—

“Ah, you’re here.”

A gruff-looking employee acknowledged me. I briefly considered acting drunk but decided to speak as I pleased.

“Hey, punk. Bring me some alcohol.”

The employee scratched his head and replied,

“Pardon? Hahaha.”

I sat down at a random table on the first floor, glared at the surroundings, and shouted,

“…You punks. Hey, employee! Bring me alcohol!”

Most people were startled and avoided eye contact. Meanwhile, a few guys smirked and looked at me; they were clearly from Dark Soul.

“That guy’s drunk.”

“What an idiot. Haha.”

As I was about to approach them, the employee hurriedly came over and whispered,

“You should go upstairs. You have companions, don’t you?”

I continued to act drunk and squinted my eyes.

“What, punk?”

“Let’s go quickly. I’ll escort you.”

The employee put my arm around his shoulder and supported me, and I pretended to be helpless and followed him.

When we reached the fourth floor, I saw the same setup as before, with rooms separated by partitions on either side of the central hallway.

Seeing the employee sweating profusely but diligently supporting me, I thought he had a strong work ethic.

The employee stopped in front of the largest room and bowed to me.

“Then, I’ll take my leave.”

“Hey, punk, this won’t do.”

“Pardon?”

I held out my hand to the employee. He looked embarrassed as he took out 1 gold from his pocket and politely placed it on my hand.

“I apologize.”

I take back what I said about the employee having a strong work ethic.

The way he was picking my pocket while pretending to support me shows he’s done this before. It’s a world where you can’t trust anyone.

“Get lost.”

The employee disappeared in a flash.

* * *

Creeeak—

I opened the door to the room and saw four people sitting around a table in the center. The old soldier from Dark Soul was sitting at the head of the table. I think his name was Bravo Khan.

He had bandages wrapped around his head, clearly due to the aftereffects of being hit by my water cannon. He’s still drinking even though he’s out of his mind. This old man is something else.

Two unfamiliar thugs were sitting on either side of Bravo Khan, and at the end of the table was a thug with a bandaged leg.

I knew this guy.

He’s either Greed or Garlic.

If I’m Garlic, then he’s Greed, and if he’s Garlic, then I’m Greed.

I pondered the 50/50 chance and sat across from ‘Greed or Garlic.’

“You’re late for someone who said they were going to the bathroom.”

Bravo Khan clicked his tongue in disapproval as soon as I sat down. I had nothing to say in response, and it didn’t seem like Bravo Khan expected an answer anyway.

“Let’s continue our conversation. You said there was a place where we could get money.”

“Yes.”

The one-eyed thug finished his drink and spoke.

“It seems Lentil’s workshop is doing well this month. We could probably get another payment from him.”

It was nothing special.

The conversation continued with trivial matters, and Bravo Khan only shared drinks with the thugs on either side of him. He didn’t even glance in my direction.

‘Is the old man sulking?’

I’m sure Bravo Khan used to favor Garlic and Greed, but now he’s not even looking at them. I can guess why. It’s probably because all three of them got beaten up by me. He’s a petty old man.

Meanwhile, Bravo Khan asked for the first time,

“…What do you think, Greed?”

Oh, damn.

I was lost in thought for a moment and didn’t hear what he said.

‘Was he talking to me or to him?’

Bravo Khan’s gaze was fixed exactly between me and ‘Garlic or Greed.’

As I was pondering, the thug across from me spoke up.

“Yes, yes. I agree.”

So, he’s Greed.

Then I’m Garlic.

Bravo Khan threw his glass at Greed.

Smack—

“You idiot! Agree with what? Think for yourself, Greed!”

This time, Bravo Khan’s gaze slowly turned towards me.

‘Hmm.’

I still don’t know what the question was. So, I need to take the initiative before the old man asks again. I pointed at Bravo Khan’s forehead and said,

“Sir, by the way, is your head okay?”

“You idiot!”

The moment Bravo Khan picked up his glass to throw it at me,

I lunged forward and headbutted the glass.

Smack—

Unlike Greed, my head was perfectly fine. This is why you need to use your head.

Greed checked my forehead, widened his eyes in amazement, and gave me a thumbs-up.

I shrugged and looked at Bravo Khan.

“I apologize, sir. I was worried because you were badly injured last time. I’m fine with my own injuries, but I can’t stand to see you hurt. If I could, I would tear the Bayern bastards apart right now…”

Bravo Khan shook his head, downed a glass of alcohol, and then spoke,

“You fool. Didn’t I explain it in a way you could understand? I’m also annoyed that they’re being so unreasonable, but the situation has been resolved. Leave them alone and stay put.”

This time, the ponytail guy across from the one-eyed man spoke up.

“…Is there still no support from the headquarters?”

Bravo Khan shook his head with an irritated expression.

“No answer yet. They’re just talking about increasing the tribute. I don’t understand it at all.”

Bravo Khan emptied his glass.

“This alcohol tastes terrible.”

Greed spoke up courageously,

“If we attack them first…”

“You idiot!”

Bravo Khan threw another empty glass at Greed.

This time, Greed also glared at the glass and headbutted it, but…

Smack—

“Cough!”

Greed’s forehead was deeply cut, and blood flowed profusely. I gave him a thumbs-up as he looked at me with resentment. There was nothing I could say.

Bravo Khan emptied two glasses in a row, then slammed his chopsticks on the table while looking for a side dish.

“There’s nothing to eat here. Garlic.”

“Yes.”

“Go get some more food and drinks.”

I left the room with a polite expression.

* * *

I went outside, but I had no intention of getting any food or drinks. I’m not an employee.

However, I felt sorry for hitting the old man before, so I decided to pretend to go along with his request. After all, what goes around comes around.

I walked around and picked up a random tray, then placed a piece of bread from my pocket on it. That should be enough.

About a minute after I left the room,

Creeeak—

“You’re already back… Who are you? Did you enter the wrong room?”

“I brought the food and drinks.”

“That was fast. But who are you? Where’s Garlic?”

Being a master of disguise, I had transformed into Bayern’s snake-eye in just a minute.

I presented the tray to Bravo Khan, who was too drunk to think straight, and his gaze shifted to the tray.

“What’s that?”

“It’s the food and drinks.”

“…You call that food and drinks?”

I threw the rock from the table at Greed.

Greed, who was dazed after being hit by the glass twice, unconsciously took a bite of the bread.

Crack—

“Damn it! Where did you get this rock-hard bread!”

I took the rock back and climbed onto the table, asking Bravo Khan,

“Would you like a taste of this rock?”

Only then did the three thugs stand up and look at me at the same time.

“You crazy bastard. You look familiar. Who are you?”

I shook my head and replied,

“So you don’t like rocks. If you don’t like rocks, I have something else.”

Meanwhile, Greed instinctively asked,

“What’s that?”

“A fist.”

As soon as I finished speaking, I slapped Greed’s cheek with the rock.

Crack—

With the sound of his jaw dislocating, Greed’s face twisted to the left, and he collapsed.

“Who are you!”

As One-Eye and Ponytail rushed at me with spears, I said,

“Act like gentlemen.”

“You son of a bitch!”

I didn’t respond to their vulgar insults. I suddenly wanted to act like a gentleman, so I just thought to myself,

‘Chilling Thorns.’

Now that I’ve reached the 4th circle, I can manifest 2nd circle magic with just my mind.

Ice thorns sprouted on my fists…

I dodged One-Eye and Ponytail’s spears and focused my attacks on their upper bodies.

They were a bit faster than Garlic and Greed, but in the end, third-rate thugs are all the same.

It’s like the difference between a dog and a cat.

‘Water Drop.’

I blinded One-Eye with a water bomb, then snatched his spear and stabbed Ponytail’s foot.

“Argh!”

Seeing Ponytail hopping around, I suddenly thought of a good training method. Enlightenment often comes from unexpected battles like this.

Wouldn’t the trainees become stronger if I made them hop around like that?

It seemed like a great way to strengthen their lower bodies.

Smack—

“Ugh!”

I finished things off by hitting One-Eye’s face with the rock-hard bread after his vision returned.

Bravo Khan stared at me blankly with unfocused eyes.

“…You, you.”

I cheered for Bravo Khan.

“Our Dark Soul’s soldier. Dark Soul’s elder. Dark Soul’s cheerleader. Dark Soul’s peace ambassador. You’re old, but you can do it. Come on, remember who I am.”

I deliberately maintained eye contact with Bravo Khan. At some point, his eyes regained focus, and his face contorted like never before.

“Master Snake! Have you lost your mind? Why are you doing this!”

“Excellent.”

As soon as I heard those words, I inwardly rejoiced and activated my mana circle.

‘Water Sphere.’

“You little…!”

Bravo Khan sensed danger and hurriedly gestured, but it was too late.

Splash— Boom!

Bravo Khan’s face was struck by the water cannon, and he fell backward, unconscious. Without a moment to breathe, I heard multiple footsteps approaching from outside and chanted,

‘Exploding water pressure, Water Bomb.’

Water jets erupted from my body in all directions.

Bang—!

The door burst open, and One-Eye, Ponytail, and Greed were thrown outside, along with the others who were running in.

Whoosh—

All the windows on the fourth floor shattered, and debris poured out along with the water. Screams erupted from the chaos.

“What, what’s happening!”

“Cough!”

“It’s collapsing! Get out of the way! Get out now!”

I quickly jumped out of the broken window and landed outside the building…

The tavern door burst open, and the people inside poured out.

“Run!”

“It’s a mess inside! Get out!”

Everyone was screaming, unsure of what was happening.

I joined the crowd, screaming along with them.

“Flood! It’s a flood!”

———